Irony

I can't wait for Jude's nap time in the morning, but I miss him while he sleeps. 

I can't wait for Lincoln to take Livvy on a daddy daughter date, but I find myself thinking about her all day long and missing her cute little voice that keeps me company.

I can't wait for a day to myself, but when it comes, I find myself just wanting to putter around the house with the kids and Lincoln. 

I can't wait to get the kids sleeping in their own room, together, but I know I'll miss Livvy rushing in  to snuggle next to me in the middle of the night. 

I can't wait to go out with Lincoln without the kids, but when we do they come with us in the stories we tell and the laughs that we share. 

I can't wait for Livvy to start preschool this fall, but I am scarred to not be apart of her mornings, 4 days a week. 

I can't wait for Jude to walk, but I want him to stop growing up. 

...

Lately I've been thinking about motherhood. About what it really means. About how hard, rewarding, crazy, and tiring it is. Mostly, I'm relieved that I miss my kids when they are asleep or out for the day. If I'm being honest, some days, like yesterday, when the stinky diapers, fussing baby and whining toddler wouldn't stop, I wonder "what is the point?!?"

But, then I remember this quote and I'm reassured that there is in fact a very important point to it all. 

"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for." Elder Neal L. Anderson

I am truly blessed to spend my time with my sweet, sometimes exasperating kids.